A Citizen of The World

     So, I regained some composure. I have tried my best to keep up with the schedule so far. I pushed myself to get back on track instead of being lost in the depression. I decided a couple of goals to work towards:

Languages:
 It's always been a dream to go to Japan. I must practice as hard as I can so I can go to Japan. And I mean to practice the Japanese language. I want to learn to speak Japanese clearly. I have never been crazy about Italy, however, I still need to learn Italian and practice it. I am also going to study French too. France is a leading nation in the many ways, by going to France, I feel, that I can accomplish a lot of things. Perhaps, I can become a citizen of the world because of France and its freedoms, unlike the decreasing freedoms within America. Being a citizen of America is too binding, where as being a citizen of the world is complete freedom.

Writing:
Poetry and short stories are in my focus so far. Through learning other languages and writing, my opportunities in life will never be limited.

**These two mental abilities will be able to help me serve the world. And create many new good things for me in life.

Following my Schedule:
Quoting my last post:
"My Summer Schedule:

• Daily Clean Up: I usually only clean once a week. These task would include putting things back where they belong, dusting, and wiping things down.
• Daily Contemplation: I want to use this blog as means to contemplate somewhat, aside from personal contemplation.
• Daily Walks/ Exercise: I walk almost every other day. However, these walks would be more beneficial for others too...
• Daily Study/Read: I want to keep my mind engaged with topics of my interest that I like to read.
• Daily Writing: I want to practice my poetry or the art of writing, everyday.
• Daily Prayer: Hopes, thanks, and wishes for others are made.
• Free Time: self explanatory ..."

Check List

1. Daily Clean Up:           Yes!
2. Daily Contemplation:  Yes!
3. Daily Exercise:            No- Later tonight
4. Daily Study/ Read:      Yes!- but I am not finished
5. Daily Writing:             No- I want to write some poetry tonight
6. Daily Prayer:               Yes!- The only thing I have been consistant with these days

In following my schedule, I will be able to take small steps to get over the that huge mountain so I can get to where I need to be and be who I am. :)

Positivity!

Lots of Talk, Little Progress, and Much Chaos, Oh my!

    My life is a mess at the moment. My computer charger has given out on me, so I have been using another computer and am left unable to update my other blogs. I have to wait for the charger to arrive in the mail, I bought a new one off ebay. It's due anytime within this week or the next few weeks. 


     To go into a bit more detail as to why my life is a mess: My health is a bit questionable at the moment, I am not living to the routine I want, and I haven't much to look forward to these days. I feel so unbalanced in every way. I know I have several things I have to do to bring this balance or hope of balance back.

     After all, I do have a biological ticking time bomb on my hands concerning my health. However, the matter of health in America can be very tricky seeing that most health professionals are rogues. They came to care and want to help, but only if big bucks are coming their way. They don't carry the good attitudes and personal values that health professionals should provide. They simply just don't care unless there is something in it for them. Nonetheless, I still have to act fast and keep hoping. It's only a matter of time until something happens. And boy, have I heard the saddest stories of young adults (like myself) in America who have died due to this economy, the growing cost of life, lossing or lack of jobs, prejudices, and the attitude of capitalism towards health for certain individuals. I was born here in America, but the more that I realize my "place" here, I hate it. I hate every echo of Capitalism and how every little bit of help is considered a socialist action. Do these people even understand the meaning of socialism? There is a difference between help and socialism. I thought they were schooled well. Most have the guts to consider themselves Christian or a follower of Jesus, but yet they cringe and complain at the thought of helping others. I have the common phrase to say, although not word for word: It's your Jesus Christ I like, but it's you Christians I don't like. Nothing like the man.

     I haven't kept to my schedule at all. It's made me very depressed, but I realized that I am not in the position to be dedicated to a schedule, at least that may be one conclusion. Money is a drought session in the desert. No rain, no love. That source of money can be gone any time now, I just hope it last through for my sake and that others. Sigh, America. I often wonder what I have to show for being 'American'. Yes, my childhood was in the lushy and surplus 90's decade, and now I am suffering and trying to hold it together. Is it time for Americans to migrate to new countries just as their ancestors arrived here for hope, new money, and a new life? I never thought of leaving America because I saw my ancestors as the searchers that had found that new hope and life, that source. I was born in that source, so why should I ever leave? But now that source seems empty and void, nothing for me. I need to go where the money is for me, where I could best prosper. It's that simple. I often think of Canada, but I have not really looked up their current conditions.  Once I recieve my charger for my computer, I will look into. But for now, I guess I have to work on managing the money and being strict about it. After all, it is means to eat and contribute to other factors of a good daily routine. Sad, but true. In the end, I should be able to manage my routine with or without money. I have felt very sluggish, barely making progress, and just wandering.

  I need to contemplate on better solutions. I will try to reblog solutions tomorrow.

Living Spirituality Religiously

      

     Recently, I have always used the term, "Spiritual, but not religious" to describe myself with religion. I struggled forever to to want to belong to Organized religion, for the reasons that people and organizations often used spirituality or 'God' as means to control the lives of others, and commit awful acts in the name of god, the divine. Also, I blamed religion as source for which the world was not united. I just couldn't believe that this kind of religion should have anything to do with spirituality. Religion, touched by men, and therefore, corrupted by men is nothing like the pure spirituality that it's often connected to. Most of these religious men are "Religious, but not spiritual". Spirituality brings kindness, moral, and understanding to religion. Religion without spirituality is worthless and corrupt. I have seen religious organizations do nothing but show "power" and "wealth", when they should be even more concerned with those suffering. In the past, I have been very wary of religion.

   However, my mind had changed once I looked into the meaning of spirituality and it's connections, yet differences with religion. I had recently realized that the two need each other. Spirituality needs religion to thrive daily and to be practiced constantly. At the moment I noticed this, and thought it over for sometime, I realized that I needed religion to thrive and become spiritual. But the problem alone is to whether I can keep my own religion, my own way in which I feel will correctly help me live spiritually, or will I have to conform to organized religion?

     For now, I do not know, but within my daily schedule, I want to practice such values that will connect me to my spirituality. Values I must practice are patience, respect for others, kindness, determination, dedication, integrity, balance, simplicity, and to cherish. 

     I don't want to be part of a religion that will put me in a group that will only look inward towards itself and help those alike. I want to be part of a religious group that respects the beliefs of everyone, even those opposite of. I want to be part of a religious group that will help everyone, no matter what, even suffering Atheist! I want a to be part of a religious group that will never flaunt its power or wealth, or cause war for "religious" reasons. I want to be part of a religion that sees all living forms equal to each other, even that of this planet. I want a religion free from discrimination and and prejudice. To have all of this, would mean a religion totally dedicated to spirituality. I refuse to have my religiosity with without spirituality.

Climbing the Mountain

     I had this dream sometime ago, that I am driving with my grandmother in the car, to somewhere I need to get to. However, for the last part of getting there, my grandma stops and parks her car. We are at the mountains, where people are normally walking up and down on the mountain, completing their daily task. We cannot drive the rest of the way, I have to walk up the mountain like everyone else. I immediately feel intimidated by the height of the mountain, and I know that my body is quite flimsy, I will fall and get hurt. There are people, just like me, that are coming to climb the mountain, they do it almost like nothing, but normally. I instantly feel bad. I just decide to sit and "wait". However, I notice that the people that started ahead of me are already a bit far and I just think "I could have been there if I had just done what I was supposed to, but instead you are just still sitting here, doing nothing."


     I believe dreams, for some people are spiritual connections to the self, and that around the self. When I awoke from this dream, I knew what it instantly meant.I need to get up and do what I am supposed to do, otherwise, no one can really do it for me. I will just sit there and accomplish absolutely nothing.

     It's so hard for me to stay true to this kind of daily dedication. I still have so much I have to do and it's a bit overwhelming at times. Everyday, I must learn to climb this mountain. Starting is always the hardest part of the puzzle for me. However, taking that first step is crucial to finishing any goal.

     I have goals I want to accomplish, but I think it's time that I start trying take small steps, before I run. I will try my best to live out a day in which I have to accomplish:

My Summer Schedule:

• Daily Clean Up: I usually only clean once a week. These task would include putting things back where they belong, dusting, and wiping things down.
• Daily Contemplation: I want to use this blog as means to contemplate somewhat, aside from personal contemplation. 
• Daily Walks/ Exercise: I walk almost every other day. However, these walks would be more beneficial for others too...
• Daily Study/Read: I want to keep my mind engaged with topics of my interest that I like to read.
• Daily Writing: I want to practice my poetry or the art of writing, everyday.
• Daily Prayer: Hopes, thanks, and wishes for others are made. 
• Free Time: self explanatory  ...

I want to start with proving that I can accomplish this schedule religiously, seeing that I wish to find a religious lifestyle dedicated to my spirituality. With every small step, I will be able to climb that mountain. So, from tomorrow on out, I will start to walk. ;)

Days of the Ego

Whenever we ask ourselves who we are, do we return to our thoughts, feelings, actions, and dreams? Sometimes I feel so not in touch with these things when it comes to discovering who I am. Do these things really define who I am? Am I more than my thoughts, feelings, actions, and dreams? Or are they all just apart of my ego? They feel just too unreal.

I just feel so unattached at times to my sociological roles, dreams, hopes and ambitions. Letting go of your ego is such a painful task at times, it takes every aspect of thyself to clear through all the pile of mess the ego has left. Especially in a society that thrives on happiness of the ego. The happiness of the relationships within societies thrive on the individual ego that is pertaining to its roles and looking for fulfillment in these ways. Some good examples, depending on the person, would be to fall in love, become famous, become an intellectual, to become the best at whatever...etc

What happiness is there for someone with no ego, then? The lessening of the ego at first feels so empty, because within the ego, one is filled with overwhelming pride, happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy, or any other emotion. It's almost like a state of depression in the beginning of ridding the ego. At first, you realize that you may never be able to obtain that which you never had or always wanted. You feel so sad, because nothing It's a painful recognition to realize that the things you once thought would make you happy, really can't.

It's not that you can't be happy or enjoy things. You are cleansing yourself of a clingy ego. When you find who you are without the expectations of society, your ego, and expectations, you will learn what real happiness is. Cleansing yourself of your ego is a tough job to accomplish. It would seem that without an ego, we almost have no identity whatsoever. We are each just molecules of water from the ocean, not belonging to ourselves in anyway.

Being overindulgent in an ego can make you sick, as you are chasing happiness down the wrong path.

However, one should not completely rid of the ego. There is a naturalness to having a healthy ego, that allows us to better understand the world around us.

The Contributions of the Past to Today's World

Often, I think of the gifts that those from the past have left us. They have also left us with many lessons to learn individually within our own lifetime and all together as societies of the world, hoping to make better progress and understanding for everyone.

I am just overwhelmed by the thought that these people have left this legacy to us. We should try our best to learn from the past, yet be quick to our all new types of issues in today's world. Also, we should respect those of the past. As individuals, you have to find what you can do to change this world and inspire those of the present and those of the future.

 They left us with their words too.

"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions."

"As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality."

"It is only to the individual that a soul is given."

  

 "A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom."
 

"An individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law."

  

“I have decided to stick to love... hate is too great a burden to bear.”

 

 "A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble"

 

"As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world - that is the myth of the atomic age - as in being able to remake ourselves."  

 

"Gentleness, self-sacrifice and generosity are the exclusive possession of no one race or religion." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

" A chief event of life is the day in which we have encountered a mind that startled us."

 

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail"

 

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” 

 

“Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.” 

 

“Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air.” 

 

 

“Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and   make your dreams come true.”  

 

 

 Yes, there are many people of the past who looked to make a better future. We should also be thankful to our ancestors who survived through the past, bringing us to the present. We have to try to put our best foot forward for those of the future, no matter how big or small or roles may seem. One person has the power to change another for the better.