Days of the Ego

Whenever we ask ourselves who we are, do we return to our thoughts, feelings, actions, and dreams? Sometimes I feel so not in touch with these things when it comes to discovering who I am. Do these things really define who I am? Am I more than my thoughts, feelings, actions, and dreams? Or are they all just apart of my ego? They feel just too unreal.

I just feel so unattached at times to my sociological roles, dreams, hopes and ambitions. Letting go of your ego is such a painful task at times, it takes every aspect of thyself to clear through all the pile of mess the ego has left. Especially in a society that thrives on happiness of the ego. The happiness of the relationships within societies thrive on the individual ego that is pertaining to its roles and looking for fulfillment in these ways. Some good examples, depending on the person, would be to fall in love, become famous, become an intellectual, to become the best at whatever...etc

What happiness is there for someone with no ego, then? The lessening of the ego at first feels so empty, because within the ego, one is filled with overwhelming pride, happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy, or any other emotion. It's almost like a state of depression in the beginning of ridding the ego. At first, you realize that you may never be able to obtain that which you never had or always wanted. You feel so sad, because nothing It's a painful recognition to realize that the things you once thought would make you happy, really can't.

It's not that you can't be happy or enjoy things. You are cleansing yourself of a clingy ego. When you find who you are without the expectations of society, your ego, and expectations, you will learn what real happiness is. Cleansing yourself of your ego is a tough job to accomplish. It would seem that without an ego, we almost have no identity whatsoever. We are each just molecules of water from the ocean, not belonging to ourselves in anyway.

Being overindulgent in an ego can make you sick, as you are chasing happiness down the wrong path.

However, one should not completely rid of the ego. There is a naturalness to having a healthy ego, that allows us to better understand the world around us.