My life is a mess at the moment. My computer charger has given out on me, so I have been using another computer and am left unable to update my other blogs. I have to wait for the charger to arrive in the mail, I bought a new one off ebay. It's due anytime within this week or the next few weeks.
To go into a bit more detail as to why my life is a mess: My health is a bit questionable at the moment, I am not living to the routine I want, and I haven't much to look forward to these days. I feel so unbalanced in every way. I know I have several things I have to do to bring this balance or hope of balance back.
After all, I do have a biological ticking time bomb on my hands concerning my health. However, the matter of health in America can be very tricky seeing that most health professionals are rogues. They came to care and want to help, but only if big bucks are coming their way. They don't carry the good attitudes and personal values that health professionals should provide. They simply just don't care unless there is something in it for them. Nonetheless, I still have to act fast and keep hoping. It's only a matter of time until something happens. And boy, have I heard the saddest stories of young adults (like myself) in America who have died due to this economy, the growing cost of life, lossing or lack of jobs, prejudices, and the attitude of capitalism towards health for certain individuals. I was born here in America, but the more that I realize my "place" here, I hate it. I hate every echo of Capitalism and how every little bit of help is considered a socialist action. Do these people even understand the meaning of socialism? There is a difference between help and socialism. I thought they were schooled well. Most have the guts to consider themselves Christian or a follower of Jesus, but yet they cringe and complain at the thought of helping others. I have the common phrase to say, although not word for word: It's your Jesus Christ I like, but it's you Christians I don't like. Nothing like the man.
I haven't kept to my schedule at all. It's made me very depressed, but I realized that I am not in the position to be dedicated to a schedule, at least that may be one conclusion. Money is a drought session in the desert. No rain, no love. That source of money can be gone any time now, I just hope it last through for my sake and that others. Sigh, America. I often wonder what I have to show for being 'American'. Yes, my childhood was in the lushy and surplus 90's decade, and now I am suffering and trying to hold it together. Is it time for Americans to migrate to new countries just as their ancestors arrived here for hope, new money, and a new life? I never thought of leaving America because I saw my ancestors as the searchers that had found that new hope and life, that source. I was born in that source, so why should I ever leave? But now that source seems empty and void, nothing for me. I need to go where the money is for me, where I could best prosper. It's that simple. I often think of Canada, but I have not really looked up their current conditions. Once I recieve my charger for my computer, I will look into. But for now, I guess I have to work on managing the money and being strict about it. After all, it is means to eat and contribute to other factors of a good daily routine. Sad, but true. In the end, I should be able to manage my routine with or without money. I have felt very sluggish, barely making progress, and just wandering.
I need to contemplate on better solutions. I will try to reblog solutions tomorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment